FOR FREE

Ian C Stewart "For Free" MP3

This is from the last regularly-scheduled mixdown tape of my career. July/August 1995. So late in the game that the tape doesn't even have a title. The songs would've gone on to comprise the follow-up to Samarkand In Bursts, which was apparently abandoned in the face of audience apathy! You punks!!

There wasn't really an emo option at the time, but that's basically where I was with music. I was too heavily invested, emotionally. The only difference between my lyrics and diaries at the time was that one of them rhymed & was funny. The other, not so much.

But, in 1995, it made no difference. I thought I was doing good work, musically, and no one was taking notice. It was pissing me off & the fact that I was working nights & probably could've used some perspective was lost on me. So I ran my music thang into the ground & started a zine pretty much at the same time.

Ironically perhaps (after how many bad reviews I/we wrote in said zine), I couldn't handle negative criticism of my tapes. Because I knew they weren't perfect & I didn't feel like I could defend them, or myself. It felt like I was too vulnerable, in all aspects.

It's a bit much for a bunch of f'ing songs, y'know?

So, anyway. "For Free" was written while watching Ashley Judd's early film "Ruby In Paradise." She was hotttt hottt hot hotttt hotttttt. The song probably could've gone on the Star*Pillow pile, but the music was just a tiny bit too serious for that. I still like the song, though & regret not doing more in that style.

Whatever 'that style' is.

It was recorded on thee Tascam 488 with theeee Dr Rhythm on drums. Zoom 9002 effects for everything. Phased guitar, chorused bass, distorted organ patch on the keyboard. Two tracks of vocals that don't make me claw my eyes out when I hear them now. Very not bad.